Ellen's Scoliosis Story
I was 13 when my family first noticed that one of my hips was sticking out farther than the other. The pediatrician told us this was called "scoliosis", or curvature of the spine, and that we should "keep an eye on it" to see if it progressed. He gave me a series of exercises to practice, which I did, but the condition continued to grow worse. I was beginning to have back aches after long, athletic days.
At 15 I was told I was in a "grey" area for treatment options - a 36 degree lateral lumbar curve - and would have to choose either to wear a body brace for an indefinite period, or opt for spine-fusion surgery. Wishing to avoid surgery, I wore the brace 23 hrs./day for 6 months and continued the exercises, but at the end of that period my curve had continued to increase, so I decided to brave surgery. They assured me that after 9 months in a full plaster body cast, I would be all fixed - straight and free of pain. It seemed like a better way to head into adulthood.
Unfortunately, in 1980 surgery for scoliosis was not as good as it is today. I had what is now called a "flatback" surgery, which left me feeling better for a year or so, but caused a gradual deterioration of the disc at the base of the fusion. The concept of the surgery was fundamentally flawed: They corrected the sidewas curve, but also fused my low back straight like a broomstick, eliminating the normal "front to back" curve, or lordosis, of the lumbar spine. They fused 11 vertebrae and inserted a steel rod, but left the joint at the base unfused, where the rod met the sacrum. This placed an unbelievable amount of pressure on that one joint, which caused it to gradually deteriorate.
I was in severe pain for 15 years, during which time I tried absolutely everything to heal. I went regularly to massage, studied Alexander Technique (which can be very helpful for people with scoliosis), tried acupuncture & yoga and every abdominal exercise ever invented, swimming, biking, walking, but it only got worse. I was a strong, positive, spirited girl, but the constant excruciating pain really started to eat its way into my psychological state. I tried different doctors but they just prescribed exercises which made it hurt more or pain killers which made me feel groggy and depressed. I developed emotional outlets - singing, music, acting - and while they gave me access to the emotional release, I was still in terrible, constant physical pain.
Finally, in 1995 I was led to Dr. Oheneba Boachie-Adjei at HSS, who removed the Harrington Rod and re-fused the spine with two curved rods which included the natural curves of the lower/lumbarspine and fused the joint at the sacrum. It was a big ordeal, I was terrified to go through with it a second time, but it worked. I am now living as free of pain as a 40 year old could expect to be, and have a happy, active life.
Developing a Yoga Practice with a Fused Spine
While I credit Dr. Boachie's skilled surgery for taking away the worst of my pain, my yoga practice has been crucial in my journey to live comfortably with my new fusion. First of all, just because they straightened my spine does not mean they evened out the muscular imbalances! I still emerged from both surgeries with the overworked hump of muscles on one side and atrophied ones on the other, which needed to be evened out. Also, just because they straightened my spine does not mean that whatever was originally causing my spne to curve has disapeared! I still have to fight a constant tendency toward asymmetry which seems to be coming from somewhere in my brain.
When I first tried yoga classes, I found myself with the dilemma of how to participate with absolutely no flexibility in my spine. I realized I could never do any of the poses accurately if I expected to look like other people, but every time I tried my best it just felt so good. My first teacher, Adrienne Burke, told me to take it one breath at a time, feel the sensations of each breath, and never push myself past a point where I could breathe comfortably. This guideline has prevented me from ever being injured in yoga practgice. Another teacher, David Life, encouraged me to find "the essence of the pose", meaning, instead of trying to copy the outer physical form, try to get inside it, from a sense of centered connection. I have learned to adapt the asanas (postures) through the sensation of grounding the legs and pelvis, while lengthening upward through the head, neck and chest. I have compensated for rigidity in the spine by maximizing both strength and flexibility in the shoulders and hips.
From the first day of class I have had to be aware of each breath, moment to moment, so as to avoid injury by straining the areas around the fusion. Working with the "essence" of the pose has also driven me into a deeper awareness of the core energy along the length of the spine, and awakened me to the benefits of a regular meditation practice. I feel the benefits on every level - more relaxed and alert in body and mind, more even tempered emotionally, and at peace. I now have a full, happy, active and very physical life - more so than many people I know who have not had back surgery!
Chakras and Meditation
At the yoga school I went to in NYC, called Jivamukti, the co-founders Sharon Gannon and David Life adhere firmly to the original, historical context of Yoga as a path to liberation or Enlightenment. Also well known for the intense physical rigor of their classes, Gannon and Life were incredibly supportive of my efforts, one minute reminding me to adjust my foot slightly this way or that and squeeze my legs "from the bones", and the next minute reminding me that yoga practice is about more than the body. "You are not the body, you are not the mind, although you have a body and a mind. You are the Witness, watching the flow of breath, watching the body mind." They trained me to keep coming back to experience being in the "Eternal Self", that aspect of each of us which never changes, that thread of consciousness that is with us from the beginning, through to the end of this lifetime. We are all Divine beings, at the core.
Gannon and Life insisted on daily meditation practice as an essential aspect of the yogic path. After initial resistance, I finally leapt into a state of trust with them, began practicing regularly, and have never looked back. Over time, I began to feel significant psychological and spiritual benefits, but also learned that through specific meditation techniques, proprioceptive awareness is developed and refined to improve posture.
Chakra meditation was the breakthrough for me. There really is no accurate English translation or definition for the word 'Chakra', which comes from Sanskrit. It loosely translates as 'energy wheel' or 'center', but refers to the path of 'Prana', or 'life force' through the body. (Prana is analagous to "Chi" in Chinese medecine.). According to Yogic philosophy, the human energy system revolves around 7 chakras, or energy wheels, which correspond physically to locations of major nerve plexus. The location of each Chakra also roughly corresponds to the location of the major endocrine glands. But in Yoga, Chakras are not considered part of the physical body; rather, they compose the central organs of the energy body, and are responsible for the flow Prana through the system. They are the major centers where mind meets body. When you bring your attention to a part of your physical body that corresponds to a Chakra, you are in more direct communication with your body. I meditate on each Chakra, one at a time, infusing them with radiant light and then connecting them to each other with my imagination, in a stream running perpendicular to gravity. This seems to provide my brain with a more correct and beautiful map of symmetry in relation to gravity. Over time, the body responds to the mental image, or self-awareness, and aligns around its energetic core.